When God Says "Wait"

I originally posted this a few days ago on my old blog...but since I am switching over to this blog, I wanted to post it here as well.

My latest news is that I am planning my next Philippines trip for June of 2010, and will probably stay through August at least. I will for sure be working at the SHIP children's home for most of that time, but may visit a few other people/places as well. I have been missing everything about the Philippines...well, except for the times I got sick, but illness happens in the US as well. I miss jeepneys, motor scooters, tricycles, Chow King, Gloria Jean's, big malls, fried fish, watching out the windows of the jeepney and taking in all the interesting scenery that is so different from anything in the US. I miss going to the market, friendly Filipino neighbors, cute little kids everywhere I look, pandesol (fresh rolls that are soooo good), the beach... except I only got to see it from a distance and had to settle for cooling off in a fountain. However, most of all I miss beautiful little children whose parents cannot take care of them right now. There is something so rewarding about caring for these children. Probably the only thing that can compare would be having my own baby...which I have never done because I am still waiting for the man who will be the father of my children, and the Lord is still preparing both of us for one another. Getting to hug these children good night, listening to their questions, and trying my best to provide the answers that they need...these are all things that parents do, and things that I have gotten to do because their parents for one reason or another cannot. I often feel that I have wasted so much of my life...and am convicted of the need to use my time wisely and carefully. I cannot think of very many things that I would rather do than care for orphans. The rewards and the satisfaction it brings are incomparable. I would rather spend my life loving these little ones than having a career or alot of money. Careers and money cannot buy love...and even love is not guaranteed--it is entirely possible to love and to minister to somebody who will not show me any love in return. The Bible places great value on loving others and on caring for orphans. God knows that ministering to those who can give you very little back is more rewarding than material things. Possessions will eventually be destroyed, but relationships can last through eternity. My goal has been to start my own children's home someday. While it probably will be awhile before that will happen, I will never let go of that dream, unless God Himself asks me to.

With that being said, I did receive an offer to return to the Philippines in January. However, the Lord led me to wait. Now you might be wondering why if I miss it so much, I would deny an offer to go back quickly. While I will not go into all my reasons, I do feel that I am supposed to focus on the Lord right now, and on getting to know Him better. It is easy to let that go when one gets very busy...unless one has firmly established the habit of meeting with the Lord on a daily basis. My relationship with the Lord is very precious to me, now more than ever...and as with any relationship, I must spend time with Him in order to get to know Him better....and I am learning so much about Him and what He has done for me, and will forever be grateful that He loved me enough to die for me, and to draw me to Himself.

We live in a society of instant gratification. If you want one, you can have one, and you can even spend a little more money to have it delivered right away. If you cannot afford one, you can get a loan so you do not have to wait. However, God knows better than we do what is best for us and when. If He tells me to wait and to go to the Philippines later, it is because He knows that I will have a more profitable trip if I wait. I have been tested with that decision. I am still looking for a job here in the US. It is easy to think that maybe I should just go to the Philippines now where I will not have to worry about that. However, the Lord will give me that job in His timing. He knows that there are things that I need to do now that will be hard to do once I add a job into the picture. For one thing, I have accumulated almost 28 years worth of stuff. I can never take all of that on the mission field with me. Furthermore, I have accumulated box upon box of stuff... mostly books and papers from 5 1/2 years of college. There are things that I will never use again! I have the perfect opportunity to go through all of that as I actually have the time. I just got back from babysitting for a retreat...something I could not do with a job. God knows what we need and when...and there are times when we must wait, trust that He knows best, and to make good use of the waiting time...speaking of which, I still need to spend time with the Lord today, so I will end this, and write more another day.